Part IV: Simulation Scenarios
Personal
Scenario 1
You want to talk about the use of your car with T, your teenager, who has just earned a driver’s license and expects to be able to borrow the car whenever you aren’t using it. You want to put some limits on the borrowing since you often need the car for things that come up suddenly, and you also are uncomfortable with the possibility of accidents.
Scenario 2
You want to talk with your mother about her criticism of the way you are raising C, your child. You want C to feel loved unconditionally, and express any feelings to you. You do not want C to fear or blindly obey you. Your mother thinks C shouldn’t be allowed to talk back to you and thinks that C should be reprimanded for this and taught to respect elders. You don’t agree that C is disrespectful to you or that reprimanding the expression of feelings is right. You have indirectly suggested to your mother that the situation is under control, but she continues to criticize.
Scenario 3
Your partner, S, takes you along on what is to be a combination business and pleasure trip. Once there, S continually sets up meetings with business associates, leaving you to fend for yourself. You were expecting to spend about half the time alone, but after four days of an eight-day trip, S has spent every day and evening doing business. S has invited you to come along to the dinner meetings, but after going to the first one, you felt like a fifth wheel. Now, on the eve of the fifth day, S announces that tomorrow he/she has an appointment in the morning and in the afternoon, and would like to invite a business associate to join the two of you for dinner. You would really like to spend the evening alone with S, and you resent what’s happening.
Scenario 4
You approach a neighbour, N who plays the stereo loudly. N does this after returning from work at midnight, and often wakes you up. You have phoned on several occasions, and N has obligingly turned the stereo down. N has also, none too subtly, conveyed to you that he/she is becoming very impatient with your complaints.
Scenario 5
Your brother, B, has been visiting. B leaves the bathroom a mess, and drops clothes and belongings all over the house. He hasn’t offered to cook or do the dishes once in the week and a half he’s been there. It’s driving you crazy because you’re working and don’t like coming home to the mess. You haven’t said anything because you two don’t always get along, and the visit is going well otherwise. B bought some food for the house, but that’s about it. He is staying another two weeks.
Scenario 6
You moved into an apartment with J a month ago. J has lived in the apartment for three years and parks his beater car in the underground lot. You have a new sports car and have to park it on the street. The trees lining the street drip sap on your car, and the other night somebody scratched the door with a key. You and J share the cost of the apartment, which includes one underground spot. J has agreed to deduct $20 from your share of the rent, in consideration of the parking, but doesn’t think he/she should have to give up the spot. You don’t really care about the money, but you do care about the fact that it’s beginning to feel like a power struggle around whose apartment it is.
Scenario 7
Every time you talk to Z, your partner, about problems with your job, you get advice on how you ‘should’ be handling it. This advice includes comments about how you aren’t handling it the right way. You feel criticized and lectured to, instead of supported. You want to talk to Z about this.
Scenario 8
You’re planning a holiday with E. As the plans are being finalized, you realize that E doesn’t seem enthusiastic. You’re wondering if E really wants to go. Tickets have to be purchased soon, and you decide to talk with E about it.
Scenario 9
Your 15-year-old, A, wants to quit karate lessons because they are no longer fun and the instructor is criticizing a lot. You have noticed that A tends to quit a lot of things once they become challenging, and you are worried about this character trait. You think A should stick it out, and have said so. A is rebelling against you for ‘forcing’ him/her to keep going to the lessons, and believes he/she should be able to make the decision.
Scenario 10
Your stepfather, P, has hired you for the summer to work on the family farm. You are 22, and P has lived with you since you were 13. You have never been especially close to P, but appreciate getting the work since you are trying to earn money for school. After a month of working, you received a partial payment, but the cheque wasn’t signed. When you asked P about this, he said it would be signed when you turned in your hours. You didn’t know you were supposed to be keeping a record of hours, but P now claims that he asked for a record of hours when he hired you. You recall the discussion being about wages. It seems to you that the hours should be quite easy to estimate, since P has seen you working and knows how many hours you put in. But P says you have to learn to take responsibility, and in a ‘real’ job, you wouldn’t get paid unless you kept records of your hours. You asked your Mom to help, but she said it was between you and P.
Scenario 11
Your partner, F, has an ex. F and the ex have a friendship that you are uncomfortable about. F occasionally has lunch with him or her, they call each other on the phone from time to time, and F has invited the ex to parties and other social events at your house. You don’t particularly dislike the ex, but are always uncomfortable having him or her around. You thought F would stop inviting the ex when you were married. F and the ex are always reminiscing about things and people that you don’t know, and sometimes the ex acts as if he/she knows more about F than you do. You want to talk to F about this.