Aims of Self-Care

One of the primary excuses we make for not practicing self-care is telling ourselves that we just don’t have the time. There are actually many self-care practices that don’t require much planning and can be done when you have a moment. The secret is to find something that you genuinely enjoy and it’ll be easy to fit it into your life.

There are common aims to almost all self-care efforts that involve the 8 spheres of well-being. Each of us  are different in the domains that we emphasize or need to balance. Remember the spheres of well-being from the What is Stress, Really? chapter? Here it is again, as a reminder.  Let’s delve deeper into what some of the self-care possibilities are in each sphere.

MENTAL

The simplest definition of mental well-being could be our ability to cope with whatever comes our way. Mental self-care is all about taking care of your mind by helping it to be focused and calm. It’s about living in the present moment, not worrying about the past or the future.

Mental self-care is entwined in the five senses – sight, sound, touch, taste and smell.

Some examples for mental self-care include one or more of the senses.

• Snuggle up under a soft or weighted blanket. ^{[1] [2] [3]}
• Going for a walk in the woods and inhaling the fresh air.
• Watching a candle flame or getting lost watching a fire.
• Soaking in a hot bath – load it up with Epsom salts!^{[4] [5] [6]}
• Focusing on the breath.
• Listening to your favorite music.
• Basking in the sun.
• Read inspiring quotes.
• Make that new recipe you’ve been wanting to try.
• Savoring your favorite dessert. No. Like really taste it, don’t scarf it down!
• Walking barefoot in the grass.
• Get a massage with essential oils to surround your senses.
• Make a self-care box full of your favorite things like candles, essential oils, affirmation cards, a book, and so on
• Cuddle your pet.

Mental exercises that activate your brain can help reduce anxiety and depression, improve your intellect, and increase your overall quality of life. It helps to generate new neurons in the hippocampus, the region of the brain that is responsible for learning information, storing long-term memories, and regulating emotions.^[7] Learn a new skill such as a musical instrument, language, or hobby, meditate, read a novel, go somewhere new, and keep going outside of your comfort zone. You can also play games that rely on logic, math, word and visual-spatial skills like sudoku and crossword puzzles. Many brainteaser apps claim to improve memory, increase I.Q., or enhance other cognitive skills. Lumosity is a popular app that is split into sessions of three games tailored to your goals: memory, attention, problem solving, processing speed or flexibility of thinking.

EMOTIONAL

Emotional self-care is dealing with your emotions, not burying them deep down. Confronting, feeling, and accepting our emotions helps decrease our stress by moving on.

Some examples for emotional self-care include:

• Keep a daily journal, and be honest with yourself. There’s a whole section on journaling here.
• See a counselor if you need help dealing with your emotions, even if it’s just for a few sessions.
• Make time to be with a friend or family member whose company you enjoy. Foster those relationships!
• Write a letter to your younger self.
• Write a letter to your older self.
• Let yourself cry when you need to.
• Reminisce and laugh thinking about old memories or watching funny old home videos.
• Turn on a song that best expresses how you’re feeling right now. Rock it out!
• Laugh! Watch stupid animal videos on YouTube, or re-watch your favorite comedy.

Spiritual self-care doesn’t have to be about religion, it’s about getting in touch with your values and what really matters to you.

Some examples are:

• Keep up a daily meditation or mindfulness practice. Yup, there’s a whole section on that!
• Create a folder of inspirational quotes.
• Walk in nature and fill your soul.
• Make a list of 5-10 things that make you feel grateful.
• Be creative, such as through art, music, or writing.
• Make a list of affirmations that support your self-worth and purpose.

PHYSICAL

Getting physical activity helps boost your mood almost immediately by releasing feel-good endorphins and neurotransmitters like serotonin.^[9] When done regularly, exercise not only protects you from long-term stress, it also reduces your risk of cognitive decline or developing dementia over time. Specifically, some research has shown improved spatial memory in subjects who exercised regularly, meaning individuals could better remember things related to their environment, like how to get to a destination or find their lost keys.^[10] This is in part due to an increased production of brain-derived neurotrophic factor (BDNF), which promotes neurogenesis and reduces oxidative stress and inflammation of the brain.^[11] Exercise is well-researched as positively helping those suffering with depression, as well.^[12]

Physical self-care doesn’t mean you have to go and get a gym membership. Physical exercise in many forms can help release stress. Here are some ideas:

• Turn up the music and dance!
• Learn some yoga moves.
• Join a class for a new sport.
• Take your dog or a friend’s dog for a walk.
• Go for a bike ride.
• Simply go for a walk, even in your neighborhood.

Physical self-care isn’t all about action, either. It’s also about rest.

• Nap if you need to. Just 20 minutes can help to refresh you. More on that in the Sleep chapter.
• Say “no” if someone asks you to do something you really don’t want to do.
• Start tracking your water intake and try to drink at least 8 glasses of water a day.
• If you’re not feeling great, don’t force yourself to exercise.
• Try to achieve 7-9 hours of sleep per night.

SOCIAL

Social self-care might be different depending on whether you’re an introvert or an extrovert. Fundamentally though, social connections  are important for our overall well-being. It’s choosing to do things with people who really make you feel good, who fill you up rather than drain you.

Some ideas:

• Have a lunch or dinner date with a friend.
• Text someone who lives far away whom you miss, or better yet, give them a call!
• Join a group that shares your interests.
• Connect with someone you haven’t seen in a while.
• Join a support group for people who have issues with the same things you do.
• Sign up for a class to learn something new, thus meeting people with the same interests.

If you want to delve much deeper into a Well-Being journey, Yale University offers a free, online, 20 hour course entitled “The Science of Well-Being”. The course description states “In this course you will engage in a series of challenges designed to increase your own happiness and build more productive habits. As preparation for these tasks, Professor Laurie Santos reveals misconceptions about happiness, annoying features of the mind that lead us to think the way we do, and the research that can help us change. You will ultimately be prepared to successfully incorporate a specific wellness activity into your life.”^[13]