18 Bisexuality, Biromanticism, and Society

Keywords: Bi, Heteronormativity, Biphobia, Transphobia, Race, Mental Health (2SLGBTQ+-, BIPOC-, and mental health-related, respectively)

Introduction

Bisexuality and biromanticism are two lesser-known 2SLGBTQ+ terms in modern society, when compared to other sexual/romantic identities like gay or lesbian, for example. Moreover, there are many ways in which bi-ness is shown, presented, and accepted (or not) in society. This piece aims to answer the following questions: What does it mean to be bisexual?; What does being biromantic mean? (both of these preceding terms will be referred to as ‘bi’ for the remainder of this piece unless otherwise stated); How does gender play into being bi?; How is bi-ness generally received in society?; and finally, What are the impacts on mental health of coming out as bi?

Bisexuality, Biromanticism, and Gender 

What do bisexuality and biromanticism mean? In short, bisexuality refers to being attracted to “more than one gender”, with such genders usually being bisexuals’ own gender and different from their own gender (Brennan 2021). Those who identify as bisexual may have varying amounts of attraction towards the genders they are attracted to; ie. being attracted to one gender more, or to all of the genders they’re attracted to an equal amount (Brennan 2021). On the other hand, biromanticism occurs when someone is romantically attracted to people of two or more genders (Brennan 2021). While biromanticism and bisexuality sound quite similar, biromanticism is different since those who are biromantic don’t have to be sexually attracted “to the same people they’re romantically attracted to” per se; this definition includes those who identify as “biromantic asexual, bisexual, heterosexual, homosexual, or pansexual” (Brennan 2021). One can also identify as both biromantic and bisexual since bisexuality refers to sexual attraction and biromanticism to romantic attraction (Brennan 2021).

Moreover, gender intersects with bi-ness in two distinct ways: Who a bi person may be romantically or sexually attracted to, and how someone who is bi may express their gender. As shown in the previous definitions of bisexuality and biromanticism, gender may be a deciding factor for bi people in determining who they are or aren’t romantically or sexually attracted to. Also, being bi can affect how you present your gender (aka. gender expression), and your gender expression can affect how others perceive your bi-ness or lack thereof. For example, a woman might dress more feminine when her partner presents more masculine than her, or more masculine if her partner presents more feminine than her. Due to this changing of gender expression depending on the gender of a bi person’s partner, some bi people may identify as non-binary, or gender non-conforming, to some degree (such as identifying as a demigirl, demiboy, or as genderqueer, genderfluid, etc.) (Pollitt et. al. 2021: 6). In this sense, someone’s sexual or romantic attraction can’t be disconnected from how they express their gender (Pollitt et. al. 2021:12). Finally, in a study done by Pollitt et. al. in 2021, participants who were cisgender women had a harder time being seen as bi (or at least not heterosexual) than cisgender men, and had to “demonstrate much more dramatic gender nonconformity to be seen as nonheterosexual” (Pollitt et. al. 2021: 8, 12).

Bi-ness and Society

The acceptance of bi-ness in present-day society is varied, due to two main factors: Heteronormativity and Biphobia.

According to Roni Graham, heteronormativity is the “teeming promotion of heterosexuality as the only ‘correct’ way to engage in relationships”, and it affects the comfortability of the extent of outness of bi people (Graham 2021). It is also implicit in everyday society, and is especially prominent in “discussions of sexuality and gender” (Pollitt et. al. 2021:5). Due to heteronormativity, a societal norm is that heterosexual expectations “require not only sexual attraction and desires toward a different sex, but also gender conformity and attraction to people of a different sex who are also gender conforming” (Pollitt et. al. 2021:2). If this norm is disturbed, those who disturb it are deemed to be deviant, and in turn are marginalized and stigmatized (Pollitt et. al. 2021: 2). In other words, heteronormativity leads to androgynous gender presentation to signify nonheterosexuality, leading heteronormative societal norms to “feminize gay men and masculinize lesbian women to ensure consistency in the dimensions of sex, gender, and sexuality” (Pollitt et. al. 2021: 12).

Additionally, heteronormativity has created heteronormative discourses: In their 2021 journal article ‘Heteronormativity in the Lives of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Queer Young People’, Pollitt et. al. describe heteronormative discourses as how “people use masculinity and femininity norms to enforce heterosexuality” (Pollitt et. al. 2021: 9). In this article, the authors also discuss how heteronormativity can be seen in different ways within race/ethnicity, sexuality, gender, and family: “Gender informed sexuality, and vice versa; both then informed (sometimes thwarted) desires for particular family constructions.” (Pollitt et. al. 2021: 15). Race/ethnicity also determines how the latter parts of humanity are viewed and in turn how heteronormativity is viewed and experienced by people of different races and ethnicities (Pollitt et. al. 2021: 15). For example, some of the Latinx participants in Pollitt et. al.’s study “feared expressing gender nonconformity because of hegemonic masculinity and homophobia in their communities”, evident in machismo (Pollitt et. al. 2019: 9). Delving into the linkage of gender and heteronormativity, the affinity of sexuality and gender arise again in how they are “inextricably linked under heteronormativity”, shown by non-binary presentation determining gayness in men, and the same gender presentation type in women rendering them to struggle “to be visibly read as queer.” (Pollitt et. al. 2021: 12).

According to Obradors-Campos, biphobia is the everyday experience of structural oppression faced by bi people due to “the hegemonic heterosexist worldview”, and is ingrained in implicit ways in everyday society, “such as symbolic power, binaries, and essentialized assumptions” (Obradors-Campos 2021: 224, 221, 210).

Due to biphobia and heteronormativity, two negative but widespread viewpoints, bi people’s acceptance in society is both received positively and negatively, the latter reception of which mainly being due to biphobia rather than heteronormativity. Most are accepting of bi people, but those who aren’t usually come from a heteronormative and biphobic standpoint (Zambon 2022). Such nonacceptance can be shown by recent changes in a higher acceptance of lesbian and gay people, but not that of bisexual people, with some treating “bisexuality as if it does not really exist, for example, by denying it or ignoring it” (Zambon 2022). Another example of this is others assuming a bi person is gay or straight strictly by how they present their attraction (in a straight-passing relationship or a homosexual relationship, respectfully) (Zambon 2022). Patriarchy also appears in society’s diverse view of bi-ness, with some bi people describing “sexual fluidity as an almost reluctant openness to being with men.” (Pollitt et. al. 2021:10). With negative reception of bi-ness in society, bi (and lesbian) woman are sometimes fetishized by men, which is due to “how bisexual women are only viewed through the heteronormative lens of fulfilling the male gaze rather than existing in genuine relationships.” (Graham 2021). There are many stereotypes about bi people: They all like to have threesomes, they will only date cis people, they will cheat, and that bi-ness is “just a phase” (Brennan 2021). Due to such stereotypes that heteronormative society has created, bi people have been called many demeaning names, including ‘greedy’, ‘indecisive’, and ‘confused’ (Graham 2021). Bi people are none of these, since a) there aren’t any links between promiscuity and sexual preference, b) being bi is valid, and c) ‘bi’ refers to “an attraction to their same gender as well as other genders” (Graham 2021; Brennan 2021). According to bi activist Robyn Ochs, bi people have a wide range of amounts of sexual tendencies, being “from asexual to super-sexual”, and in turn are diverse in sexual behaviour or lack thereof (Ochs 2012: 172). There is also a relationship between heteronormativity and biphobia, with the former leading to the latter, shown both in the mind frame that bi people are “disrupting” the social norm of heteronormativity, and that heteronormativity is the basis of biphobia (Obradors-Campos 2012: 212). Additionally, internalized biphobia in bisexuals can arise due to living in a heteronormative society (Obradors-Campos 2012: 213).

Moreover, mainly because of biphobia, there is a discourse between bisexuals and other communities within the 2SLGBTQ+ umbrella (Ho 2012: 4). This is because of the assumption that bi people “don’t experience discrimination because they can camouflage themselves more into society’s heteronormative gaze” which isn’t entirely true, due to the existence of biphobia providing means of discrimination (Graham 2021). Another reason for such discourse is due to bisexuality sometimes being seen as “cowardly” in the gay community, and “as a betrayal” in the lesbian community; related to the latter, bi women “were said to be sacrificing their lesbian lovers to help themselves play into the hands of men” (Ho 2012: 5).

Finally, given the heteronormative society we live in, mainstream media depicts many more heterosexuals than bisexual relationships: This can lead to many bi people growing up not seeing themselves represented in media, and in turn “questioning the validity of their attraction” (Graham 2021). While the media is becoming much more inclusive of bisexual and other kinds of 2SLGBTQ+ relationships, a continuous increase or at least equilibrium with that of heterosexual relationships would be beneficial. It would also help if streaming services stopped cancelling most of its LGBTQ+ tv shows, as well as having more autobiographies written by bi people (Ochs 2012: 174).

Coming out as Bi and Mental Health impacts

Due to heteronormativity and biphobia, the reception of bi people coming out to close people in their lives can have various outcomes. Outness is defined as the degree to which someone wants to disclose their sexual orientation to those they’re close with (Morris et. al. 2010: 65). Two negative outcomes of coming out for bi people are being rejected by a friend or family member, and being subjected to jokes or slurs (Brown 2019). Moreover, although bi people make up over half of the 2SLGBTQ+ population, they often still feel invalidated due to heteronormative society in implicit ways, such as “the fallacy that being bisexual is “just a phase” or an experimental part of one’s romantic desires” (Graham 2021). Additionally, bisexual women are more likely to be traumatized due to interpersonal violence than heterosexual women are (Balsam 2012:1). Additionally, in a study performed by Morris et. al., not being out was associated with higher psychological distress, which in turn led to a high degree of suicidality (Morris et. al. 2010:63). On the other hand, being out correlated with a much lower degree of psychological distress, as well as being involved in LGBTQ+ communities and self-identifying as bi leads to more outness among bi women (Morris et. al. 2010: 68). Improving mental health for bi people could be done through many aspects of society: Having more representation in media, having laws protecting sexual orientation diversity, mental health resources being widely offered to bi people, and more (Morris et. al. 2010:71).

Conclusion

In conclusion, bi-ness can affect more than just someone’s sexual and/or romantic attraction. There are many intersections between bi-ness and gender, whether it be who a bi person is romantically or sexually attracted to, how they express their gender because of their bi-ness, how bi-ness is accepted or not accepted in society and the reasons for said reception occurring, and their mental well-being.

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