40 Passing, Transition and the Non-binary Experience: The Challenges of Living Outside of the Gender Binary

Keywords: Non-binary, Transgender, Two-Spirit, Presentations, Passing

Passing as transgender and non-binary is a complex topic which is more important than ever before to try to understand. This is due to many more trans and non-binary people coming out and beginning their transitions. Passing or to pass is the idea, in general, that a person of one group can appear to be a part of another group and can refer to one’s race, nationality, gender and/or other attributes (Dias et al. 2021). Historically, passing referred to black slaves who attempted to gain freedom by passing as white (Dias et al. 2021). For my purposes, to pass will refer to when a trans person reaches a point in their transition where they are indistinguishable from a cis person of the same gender both visually and through mannerisms (Dias et al. 2021). For example, a trans man being indistinguishable from a cis man (Dias et al. 2021). Passing is not always the goal for trans people. Many trans people do not wish to pass, while many others do (Anderson et al. 2019). Passing is often used to protect oneself from the many dangers and difficulties that come with being a trans person (Anderson et al. 2019). However, there are many situations where a trans person cannot pass. One of these such situations is when someone is non-binary or when their gender identity does not fit neatly into the normalized gender binary (Anderson et al. 2019). Non-binary people are unable to pass because they are not transitioning from one gender to another as many binary trans people do (Anderson et al. 2019). Non-binary people have a unique gender identity that is outside of the normative gender binary (Anderson et al. 2019). This inability to pass can cause many complex challenges in the day-to-day lives of trans people, binary and non-binary alike, and the issues around passing are worthy of discussion.

Non-binary people, just like other trans people, have always existed across various cultures all over the world (Richards et al. 2016). Non-binary is a gender identity that is often used as a broad umbrella term to classify an individual’s identity when that identity is outside the realms of man or woman. Sometimes this incorporates both or neither into their identity (Richards et al. 2016). For this essay, non-binary as an umbrella term will include those who identify as non-binary, genderqueer, bigender, genderfluid, agender, and other identities that are not strictly binary. Many non-binary people do not consider themselves to be transgender, but many others do. It is a personal choice and I wish to acknowledge that as this essay will be discussing non-binary issues in tandem with trans issues (Darwin 2020).

Due to colonization and the destruction of native cultures, our Western society is a very binary cisnormative one (Darwin 2020). Throughout history, non-binary people have presented themselves in different ways. One of the oldest known non-binary gender identities originated in India 4 thousand years ago (NewsyHub 2022). They are known as the Hijra and were well-respected individuals that were believed to have the power to bestow curses or blessings (NewsyHub 2022). When the British colonized, they enforced a binary gender system on India; however today the Hijra is legally recognized as a third gender (NewsyHub 2022). In the Americas before colonization, indigenous people may have had two to ten genders, known today as the two-spirit people. They were also nearly lost to colonialism (NewsyHub 2022). These two identities just scratch the surface of the long and varied history of non-binary identities. There are likely many instances of non-binary identities and people that have been lost (NewsyHub 2022).

Today many non-binary people are forced to use their assigned gender for legal and day-to-day matters. In some places, such as in Canada, a non-binary or otherwise gender non-conforming person can use an ‘X’ marker on legal identification as opposed to an ‘F’ or ‘M’ (Richards et al. 2016). However, while being able to have an ‘X’ on one’s legal documentation is a huge step, it does not solve all the problems that come with identifying outside of the gender binary. The issue of ‘passing’ is one of these many problems.

As mentioned, passing is a complex topic for trans people and to be clear a trans person who passes is not lying or being deceitful, they are simply existing in a specific way (Anderson et al. 2019). Trans people by the very nature of their existence challenge the idea of a biological gender-sex binary and challenging that binary can be a dangerous feat (Anderson et al. 2019). Trans people are currently one of the most at-risk groups for becoming victims of physical and sexual violence (Anderson et al. 2019). Because of this, the trans community has various strategies for keeping themselves safe (Anderson et al. 2019). Passing is one of those strategies, however, this is not to say that it is the only reason a trans person would want to pass (Anderson et al. 2019).

Many trans people wish to pass to affirm their own identity through how they present themselves to the world (Anderson et al. 2019). Many trans people use passing as both a way to protect themselves and a way to affirm their identity (Anderson et al. 2019). Passing also helps trans people be legitimized in a cisnormative society; trans people who pass can more easily navigate an often-hostile environment and cis people are more likely to acknowledge and respect their gender identity (Anderson et al. 2019). For example, if a trans person passes they can more easily avoid being misgendered both in public and private (Anderson et al. 2019).

However, trans people shouldn’t need to pass for their identity to be respected and the fact is that passing is a fragile state; Once someone knows a person is trans they will always know, which could lead to even more unpleasant or dangerous situations that the passing trans person had previously avoided (Anderson et al. 2019; Broussard & Warner 2018). Passing, can often be complicated and imperfect, and for some being trans and visibly trans is a large part of their identity and to be cis-passing could be felt as a loss (Nicolazzo 2016). The concept of passing in general can be problematic on its own, as it can reinforce the idea of the cisnormative gender binary, while passing can feel liberating to some, not being able to pass can be devastating to those who wish to (Anderson et al. 2019). It can also reinforce colonial ideas of what gender looks like, not to say that one shouldn’t look how they wish but the idea that all women look a certain way, or all men act a certain way with no exceptions is harmful (Anderson et al. 2019). Those who do not wish to pass can also feel pressured into doing so, and others still may make changes to themselves they don’t want or aren’t ready to make. This is in the hopes that they pass and avoid harassment and discrimination (Anderson et al. 2019).

For many non-binary people, passing can be a near impossibility as they often have nothing to pass as. Passing as a concept can reinforce the idea that trans people are going from one sex/gender to another when often that isn’t the case (Nicolazzo 2016). There is no one way to be non-binary, and there is no one way to be trans in general, but non-binary people have no single goalpost to aim for in their transition (Darwin 2020). Transition for some non-binary individuals involves nothing but an internal acknowledgement of their identity, while for others transition involves a wardrobe change, surgery, and hormone replacement therapy (HRT) (Darwin 2020). Unfortunately, for many non-binary individuals, there is no way to pass and fit back into the cisnormative system (Broussard and Warner 2018). Many non-binary people will always be going against the binary systems and expectations of gender, often leading to more discrimination (Broussard & Warner 2018). If a non-binary person chooses to stop presenting as their assigned gender and become more androgynous, they will be perceived as attacking the binary gender systems and face more challenges as a result (Broussard and Warner 2018). On the other hand, many non-binary people pass as their assigned gender and therefore do not suffer those challenges. However, the difference between passing and hiding their identity in those circumstances is up for debate (Darwin 2020).

Some of the challenges non-binary people face occur within the medical system. Passing and transitions in general sometimes involve various medical and non-medical interventions that alter how someone looks (Anderson et al. 2019). Medical transitions are procedures such as hormone replacement therapy (HRT) and surgeries, and non-medical transitions (also called social transitions) are things like changing one’s wardrobe and choosing a new name and pronouns (Anderson et al. 2019). It should be said that many trans and non-binary people will often choose not to medically transition, and it is more often that non-binary people may make that choice (Nicolazzo 2016). There are plenty of non-binary people who do choose to undergo a medical transition (Bellamy-Walker 2018).

Non-binary people experience high levels of medical discrimination to the point where many will avoid medical visits to avoid mistreatment and discrimination (Kattari et al. 2020). This discrimination is far more likely if they have other intersecting factors such as being a person of colour, disabled, or of a lower social economic status (Kattari et al. 2020). Many doctors and other physicians will deny the existence of non-binary people and refuse to work outside the binary (Bellamy-Walker 2018). In many cases, non-binary people who wish to go on HRT or have surgeries will be denied for the reasoning of them being ‘not trans enough.’ The events of such denials can be devastating to the patient’s mental and physical health (Bellamy-Walker 2018).

The idea of ‘not being trans enough’ often comes from the idea that one must medically transition to be trans also known as trans medicalism (CopsHateMoe 2022). Trans medicalism is the idea that being trans is a wholly unpleasant experience and that to be trans one must wish to have surgeries and HRT to become as close to the ‘opposite sex’ as possible to fully pass (CopsHateMoe 2022). Trans-medicalism in this way denies the existence of non-binary people, many of whom as stated do not wish for such things (CopsHateMoe 2022). Trans-medicalism often plays into the idea that gender is inherently biological and binary which can be harmful to those who identify outside of the gender binary and do not wish to have surgeries or HRT (CopsHateMoe 2022). It can also be damaging to those who may want one but not the other as they may feel pressured to get both to be trans enough and to pass as cis (CopsHateMoe 2022).

I spoke with a non-binary individual named Royal (age 23) to get their thoughts on the issue of passing for non-binary people. While their thoughts and feelings are unique to them I believe it is essential to hear the opinions of a non-binary person. They wish to remain mostly anonymous so they will only be referred to by their first name. Royal spoke about how they felt that passing as a non-binary person was an impossibility (Royal 2022). Royal has an image in their mind of what they wish to look like but presenting as non-binary isn’t exactly something that can be done (Royal 2022). They said:

Confusing people is the closest I could get to passing, no one will ever look at me and know I’m non-binary like they could if I was a trans man, people could look at me and know I’m queer by how I’m dressed which is all fun and good but I’ll always be misgendered in public and that’s just something I have to live with (Royal 2022).

They continued by saying how looking visibly queer can be dangerous and even though they want their preferred pronouns used they often do not correct people for fear of discrimination (Royal 2022).

I rarely if ever correct someone when they misgender me, it’s a habit of biting my tongue to ensure my safety. I have to pick my battles when it comes to this sort of thing and most of the time outing myself to a stranger to avoid the discomfort of being misgendered just isn’t worth it (Royal 2022).

When asked about their thoughts on the idea of passing in general they said:

I think the idea of passing is great for the people who want it and can do it, but it sucks for everyone else. I feel like things would be better if we could all just look however we wanted without fear of discrimination. If a trans woman wants to look cis good for her and the same goes for if she doesn’t but if she doesn’t look cis and doesn’t want to she’ll be under way more scrutiny and in more danger, a lot of the time and that’s not fair (Royal 2022).

Finally, Royal was asked what they think could be done to help non-binary people navigate society better.

Firstly, abolish gender markers on IDs and passports, if I get pulled over I don’t need a cop to know I’m trans by seeing a big X on my license. Then really making it easier to get the care we need, I don’t need to convince my primary care doctor or a therapist I need breast implants to get them, why should I have to get their approval to get top surgery and have them removed? These things should be on the same level of availability but they aren’t. The same goes for HRT. Just make this stuff easier and stop stigmatizing it, the changes I make to my body aren’t anyone else’s business and I shouldn’t be afraid of getting discriminated against for them (Royal 2022).

In conclusion, trans and non-binary people have always existed in one form or another and are struggling to continue to exist today due to the binary society colonizers have created (Darwin 2020). Passing as cis is one of the many strategies trans people use to protect themselves and is also the transition goal many trans people have (Anderson et al. 2019). However, it can be extremely difficult or impossible for non-binary people to pass, as their only options to pass are the gender they were assigned at birth or the ‘opposite’ gender. There are no other societally recognized options (Darwin 2020). The pressure to pass can reinforce these binary options (Anderson et al. 2019). Our cisnormative society is often hostile towards trans and non-binary people’s existence. In the medical area, this is very clear (Bellamy-Walker 2018). Non-binary people experience a lot of discrimination within the medical system, due to transphobia and doctors’ refusal to understand their gender identity (Bellamy-Walker 2018). They are often denied gender-affirming care due to ‘not being trans enough,’ which plays into the false idea that all trans people wish to pass and appear or be cis (CopsHateMoe 2022). There are suggested ways that society at large could make life better for trans and non-binary people. For starters removing gender markers from legal documents and making gender-affirming medical care easier to access—in short, making society overall more accepting and accommodating to people who do not fit within the gender binary.

BIBLIOGRAPHY

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