15 Sunshine, Sourdough, Seafoam, Sanct and Spaghettification

Sunshine, Sourdough, Seafoam, Sanct and Spaghettification

When I wrote this music, I was a much much different person. It was the beginning of my student career and I had only just begun discovering my own identity. My friends and I had entered a talent show to show that we had created a band, despite not winning the show, we would eventually go on to write four of the five songs that appear in tandem to this book. In addition to writing these songs, each song has its own small thought piece that I hope will offer a little more detail about what I was thinking when I was creating each of these pieces. As mentioned before there are four songs that were written by me and my friends, most of these were written around 2019-2020, before I was fully out to both my parents as well as my general social group. The final song Spaghettification was written as sort of a reflection on how my identity has developed from that point to where I am now as a Gay man now living on Vancouver Island as opposed to a young Freshman College student in Alberta. In my personal opinion I believe these songs are best listened to while reading the rest of the book, as just like how this music was made with the cooperation of friends, one i able to tell that this book as well was not just made by a collection of students, but a group of comrades, all united in a specific goal. In conclusion, I hope you enjoy the music I’ve written, as well as the rest of the book as well.

Sunshine: When I hear this song, I think of my journey through the rocky mountains to actually get to the island, The haunting guitar, the road leading ever on, the Harmonica, the hum of the car engine going onward. A world of endless possibility was ahead of me then, I had shed my old identity and was moving towards one where I was free to express myself however I saw fit. Which I feel is the perfect metaphor for anyone’s journey of self exploration, A world of endless possibilities ahead of you, and though it may be scary venturing into the unknown, the road takes you ever on promising adventure around every corner.

Sourdough: A thudding drum beat, and a more plucky tune with attitude. When this demo was recorded we didn’t have a drum to use, so we instead had someone strum their muted guitar, leading to the fun sounding kick drum sound. We didn’t often make harder sounding stuff so I’d like to imagine it was proof that we could make something you could tap your toe to as well. I’d like to think it could symbolize how I felt the need to break through norms surrounding me at the time, of course as one could expect, growing up in rural northern alberta wasn’t really the place where expression of oneself was always looked kindly upon, and finally being away at college allowed me some time to actually question why I subscribed to these ideals.

Seafoam: In hindsight I wish I had used a regular piano as opposed to a melodica in this piece, The guitar is what makes this ong as opposed to its somewhat screechy wistful melody. But I think that’s also the beauty of the song, a perfect imperfection. Which is another good metaphor for one’s gender identity. You don’t need to be perfect within everyone’s eyes to be proud of something, I’m still proud of what me and my friends had accomplished at the time, making almost a whole cd in a dorm room was impressive to us. Just like how I didn’t have to “act gay” in a sense to feel gay you know? I don’t need to be a stereotype to feel legitimized in my own identity.

Sanct: This song was the final song on the CD that me and my friends had made, a tearful farewell to the probably three people who had even bothered to buy our album. I’d like to think of it as a goodbye to the old to welcome in the new. Just like how Sunshine reflects the infinite potential of the future, I think Sanct represents the tearful release of old memories and identities to welcome in the future. We often hold onto our old memories whether they end up being bad or good. But eventually we need to move on in order to grow as individuals. I had realized I wasn’t the same person I had started as, but as I’m sure many others do, I still feel a nostalgic melancholy for the past version of myself, if that makes any sense.

Spaghettification: Originally the intro song to a concept album I would make if I was much more talented, it was about an astronaut who had been sucked into a black hole. I had wanted to make that whole album a more in depth exploration of how I have explored my gender identity, with the astronaut eventually accepting his new existence despite the insistence of ground control to do otherwise. I feel like I’ve grown a lot since I’ve moved to the island, and that I’ve become a much better person for it.